Country of Origin: South Korea
Tried and true!
I was excited for today; I knew it was the day we would be finally reviewing Shin Ramyun! It’s definitely one of my all time favourites and one I pretty much always have around the house, just in case (just in case I want a FLAVOUR EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH…pause).
As seems to be the norm from Nongshim, the noodles are top notch! Not their thickest but they cook well, retain flavour, and have a delicious spring to their bite. Nongshim are noodles. They got this. These noods also came with a nice selection of green onion, bok choy, mushroom, chilli and carrot in the sachet; hydrated exceptionally well and complimented the dish nicely.
I couldn’t pick out any meat flavours in the broth; initially its pepper, heat, and some kind of delicious stock that hits your lips. Mouth sting definitely present. I kept thinking I could taste tomato but the packet doesn’t list it anywhere (interestingly, it contains green tea extract!); I seem to always taste tomato. I think my palate is broken.
For bonus brownie points you can chuck in some of your own vegies (and maybe some beef and a ramen egg); this dish lends itself perfectly as a base for your Ramen as well as a top notch standalone instant nood. These are popular for a reason.
It’s about 5pm and I’m already getting the old stomach gurgles and those diarrhea-like feelings (you know the one; it feels like its about to explode out but it’s not quite there and you feel like you should probably call in sick to work?). I’m gonna see how this plays out….
…5 minutes later I’m in the loo (luckily I was still at work and not on the drive home!) FYI this seems to be the earliest start to regret yet! So I hop in, sit down, and it doesn’t fly out like a water hose turned on full blast…but it feels like it should…I decided that I would need to push with this one. It was hard, it was grueling, and it was stingy. Definite chilli feel around that area. Tender. I was there for about 20 minutes; it felt like pushing a Humvee down a hallway. Which is weird though; cos it would probably be more effective to drive the Humvee down the hallway…I mean, the car has more power than a person right? Either way it wouldn’t fit. And that’s what this felt like.
Stomach gurgles are still happening a little bit but I don’t feel like I’m about to paint some abstract artwork in my pants.
Wait, it isn’t over…I’m still feeling pretty rough in the stomach. This feels like it may last a while. I’m about to drive home.
Oh god… Oh god no. The minute I get in the door (about 7pm) it’s straight to the toilet. It feels urgent. I was just gonna fart but I could feel this was probably gonna follow through…OK… A loud wet satisfying release…I think I’m done. Get up, pants up, walk to kitchen. NOPE straight back….and quick. This was the kicker. Loud, fast, watery and BURNING. This is sore…wow. Stomach is really doing a number on me…I’ll just sit here a little longer shall I?
I got up after 5 more minutes, went and sat down at my PC, lasted about 10 minutes before…NOOOOOPE. Back to the toilet. Jesus. More stinging. More movements. More noise. This was a bit shorter though; I was done after a few minutes. I slowly moped my way back to my PC. I hoped it was over.
One last hurrah at 10.30pm. No need to go over the exact details as it was more of the same; stinging was unbearable now and I had to dab instead of wipe. This was a rough night. God damn you Shin Ramyun. God damn you.
9 flames. You can’t do anything in the evening if you eat these at lunch. Really. You can’t. Don’t try. Don’t make plans. Have plenty of moist towels ready. Does this happen to everyone? Why do we not remember this? Why do we keep eating them? Oh yeah; they are delicious.
More quality offerings from the Nongshim kitchen – how do they keep doing it? I looked forward to these, and they did not disappoint – peppery vegetable stock flavours, and enough spice to get you moist…. around the eyes. This dish does list beef among its ingredients, but it doesn’t overpower the dish, instead striking a nice balance between hearty and wholesome green-tea flavours. This was a really well-rounded dish, definitely going to visit this one again.
Upon that night my regret was surprisingly moderate compared to my delicate co-reviewer, some urgency that night, spend a bit more time on the throne than Joffrey, and you’re done.
5 flames – will keep you away for a more-than-normal time, so save it for a night in where your absence won’t be missed.
Overall Porcelain Punishment Level