Country of Origin: Singapore
It’s like Singapore! Except only if Singapore was average.
I will say a few things here; I’m not really a big fan of sweet chilli.
OK well that was just one thing. Let’s just get on with this.
So the noodles themselves were actually pretty fantastic; great gauge, long, nice snap to them, and felt really authentic to a Singapore stir fry dish. I was pretty stoked when I opened them and looked forward to what these babies were going to bring to the table.
They brought very little to the table.
Well to their credit it does what it says on the packet; nothing more, nothing less. It has a crab flavour. And it has a sweet chilli flavour. Oh and it has a tinned tomato flavour. That’s what it has. That’s it.
Honestly I actually do think these are OK overall; it just seems like they are trying their hardest to really not stand out at all. If this is intentional (why bother making a product if this is your intention?) then sure, they nailed what they were going for and they should be proud.
I ate them. There. Are you happy now?
Well, I wasn’t expecting any poop and my body didn’t let me down on that front; nothing. Not a measly passing or of wind, nor an eruption of violent proportions. Just a chill night playing State of Decay 2. These are safe to eat; the question is should you? Maybe; If they are lying around and you are too lazy to cook. Or if you have absolutely no respect for yourself.
I forgot to write my review on this, which is pretty bad, I’m sorry my fellow Noodists! As a result of this, I need to stick with what was memorable.
Noodles didn’t cook as quickly as I would tend to hope for – I remember sitting in the kitchen for a damn age waiting for the water to work its magic – so any time I have to throw things in the microwave, I get a little sad inside. So I got sad inside. A little.
Flavour didn’t really leave much with me. I remember it smelling pretty crabby but didn’t really get any heat from these either. After a few mouthfuls, I’m not sure I even got crab actually! I honestly feel the only premium thing about these was the packaging.
I cannot remember pooping bad for a very long time, so I’m gonna say these left nothing memorable at all. Considering these are “premium” they certainly are pretty average. Not in a bad way, just exceptionally middle ground.
Overall Porcelain Punishment Level