Country of Origin: China
This one flew too close to the sun
So I’m an idiot, I haven’t got the ramen table memorized so good and bought this pack twice. I thought it had a great, almost premium, packaging; perhaps it was a great decision. So we opened the packaging the day before to see what we were in for; ribbon noods, NICE! I had to consume mine a little later than my fellow noodists and all I could hear over the sound of my customer was, why is it so salty!? I suppose I would see what this was all about when the lunch bell rings.
We made this ramen a little more by the book when my time came to consume, Kam wanted to ensure that it was intended to pack the salt hit. The culprit was evident as soon as the dried sachet was opened, MSG (by the tonne). Now, I’m as big a fan of nood MSG’s as the next guy, but this was next level.
Credit where its due, it looks fantastic and colleagues were commenting at the enticing aroma of this broth. The first mouthful was fantastic, full of flavour. A short break while trying to figure out why my partners were making comments on the salt was met with the reality of the next mouthful. Was this made with water from the dead sea? Was I getting my lifetime dose of electrolytes? It is, afterall, what the body craves. If we are stranded at sea and had either this ramen or sea water to drink, I’d drink the ocean bare. My lips tingled from just the sharp salt hit.
This might be me being a little bitch, we gave the ramen to a guest and he said it was great. Steve from memory mentioned it was salty but not over bearing. If you like things salty, this is for you. We will come back for this, perhaps halve or even remove the MSG to see how it goes. But for now, as it comes, I did not enjoy it past the first mouthful.
I was concerned what the salts would do to my bowels. I sat on the toilet with hesitancy, my concerns were warranted but not as badly as I’d originally thought. It was probably a bit more spray-ish than a standard trip but not an uncomfortable time. No stings or burns, all the more reason to fix this with a lab.
3 stars for the spray. It made the visit faster than usual and wiping all the easier but no one likes a spray poop.
I have a high salt tolerance so these weren’t the salty hell they were for my fellow noodists. However there is a definite presence of salt in this one, almost overpowering the szechuan spices that this dish is trying to bring in for your consideration, but the taste is there. This is complimented by the flat rice noodles that come with the dish, also in a convenient round cake. The inclusion of oil in this helps to stick the flavouring to the noodles, and the overall appearance of the dish wouldn’t look out of place in an actual restaurant.
I may have skewed the results for the regret on this one due to a dank offering of $15 all-you-can-eat buffalo wings at dinner – I am not a strong man, so I indulged. A lot. Which had the expected effect of porcelain explosions, so I cannot really pass a judgement on the regret for these, although I didn’t have any grumble until post-dinner.
2 flames, results may be skewed.
I am really impressed with these noods’ packaging and presentation; top marks. From the individually shrink wrapped noodle blocks and the copious amounts of additions, to the quality of the noodle themselves; it looks and feels premium. It smells fantastic too. Hell, even the first mouthful was bliss; but then it all changed. Why, you may ask? Salt. Oil and Salt. The flavours in this dish at first taste were already a very complex medley that I felt would fit deserving on any restaurant menu; then I had a second and third taste. Salt, salt, salt. It was really bad. I even had to stop half way through and add a bit more water to see if that helped; nope. Salt. Oil. Salt. Oil. Chilli. Flavours. Salt. I don’t know what to rate these. I loved it, then I hated it. It’s a big disappointment because these have so much potential; it’s almost there. It just didn’t need the metric tonne of MSG.
Well, not a peep out of my starfish from these babies all night. To be fair, I’m not sure eating salt raw causes the runs; so I guess maybe that was to be expected? Morning was a different story though; normal morning poo was accompanied by some sting; nothing too painful but it was definitely a reminder of what I had consumed.
Overall Porcelain Punishment Level