Country of Origin: South Korea
Sugar and Spice but nothing Nice.
I was super excited for this; I am one to judge books by their cover and the packaging for this really spoke to me. Glad the fates decided this was today’s ramen.
So pretty decent block; it’s square (which we hate) but the portion and girth are acceptible. They hydrate very well (as is expected from Paldo) and really hold the flavour superbly.
And this is the problem; the flavour. I’m not sure what this is supposed to be but it’s sickly sweet. The only two flavours here are “Sweet” and “Spice”; more front-loaded with Sweet. I actually feel like I may get diabetes after eating this. I was on the fence about the flavour – I was happy to rate these a “meh” – but when considering whether or not I would recommend this to anyone I changed my mind to meet the teams consensus; these noods are bad.
If you like eat sugar straight from the bowl; these noods may be for you. But I can’t recommend these to anyone whilst still holding a clear conscience.
So the entire evening was uneventful; I watched an episode of Goblin with the wife, smashed out the last few episodes of Santa Clarita Diet, and then a few episodes of Bojack Horseman. All good. Bed time.
Next morning something happened; I got a sharp stomach pain and went straight for the loo. I was there a good 30 minutes. I had to concentrate but I forced it out; and there was accompanying sting. More than I was expecting actually! Look you can have a great evening with these, it’s just the morning that will give you a bit of grief. I’ll give these a 3.
3 flames; relatively safe for an evening of gallivanting but your regular morning poo will be a chore.
I feel someone at Paldo tried cottees cordial and thought, lets make a chilli ramen cordial! This is just sugar plus it’s red, don’t feed to children, you will break them. I can’t even be sure these were hot, I was just too taken back by the overdose of sugar. It’s sickly sweet, typically when we all groan in pain while slurpin’ noods, its from heat, this was from pure dissatisfaction of the flavour. The flavour I’m guessing was supposed to be SWEET Chilli, I don’t know, maybe I’m uncultured, maybe this is what the dish is supposed to taste like, maybe we cooked it wrong. All I know, is I never want to try this again, I’d rather eat the Emart Habanero again.
The regret for these was opening the packaging, the regret was making these noodles. The poops were firm and regular, just the way the good lord intended.
1 No pain to the poops, just good ol’ fashioned sit and shit.
If you took red frog lollies, melted them down and added a very mild chilli oil, this is what you get. This dish definitely puts the G in MSG. The sugary flavour isn’t really apparent while eating the noodles, but once you get to the broth, that’s where all hope leaves you. I remember once watching my mum make red jelly, when she mixed the crystals with hot water and left the red soup to cool – I snuck a taste and was rewarded with child crack – pure sugar water, and that is basically what these are.
However to the adult palate this is obviously too sweet, especially for a ramen dish, which you’re expecting to be hot and savoury. I actively struggled to get through this, more so than any other dish we’ve reviewed, and towards the end I realised it – these just taste bad. It even seems the creators know – there are instructions on the front to improve the taste. How about you just not make it like this! Or even market it as a dessert ramen!
Can we base regret on taste? No? Well, 0 flames then. Normal programming was uninterrupted.
Overall Porcelain Punishment Level