Maggi Fusian Mi Goreng Hot & Spicy

Country of Origin: Australia


Not completely shit. That is about the best way I can describe this noodle. While the sesame oil gives this dish a nice mouthfeel, the taste is lacking, there are no vegetable chunks, and even with the visible and plentiful ‘chilli flakes’ I’ve seen spicier PG-13 sex scenes.

Before it’s mixed; look I can see chilli!

Good for the spice-shy if you want to pretend you’re being daring, but the taste is ultimately almost more sweet than spicy. A really lackluster end to a disappointing week – poor show Maggi, back to the drawing board please.

The picture is blurry; yes, we failed you all


Heat Level
Taste Level

The Aftermath

Aftermath? What aftermath? Like the rest of this week the regret comes with the first mouthful, not after. Eating this is the equivalent of sleeping with that shitty ex – seems good when you’re needing it, but the few moments after are filled with self loathing and shame.

1 – you won’t notice, but you’ll still hate yourself.

Well, it wasn’t the worst Maggi experience this week; the flavour was adequate. I wouldn’t say this is the best Mi Goreng I have had, but it wasn’t the worst, it was kind of just sufficient (way to phone it in Maggi). Maggi week, I hope, is a week I can soon forget; the main regret experienced with the week was that we didn’t partake in ramen that was worth our while.

Aftermath, there was no problems, no irregularities just standard movement. Much like the initial findings upon consumption, nothing to really write home about.

1; I suppose it was at least pooped out.

I don’t mind the taste of these actually. It’s clear that Maggi is trying to break into the “Mi Goreng” market which is currently solely dominated by Indomie and these are definitely palatable. That being said; it’s still no Indomie. Being that I would have to be Stevie Wonder to not be able to find ‘Indomie Mi Goreng’ there is nothing that is going to make me buy these again. Heat wise; low. Very low. I can tell it’s supposed to be hot, and maybe for the layperson it might be, but it’s more ‘Baby Spice‘ than ‘Silkk the Shocker‘. I ate it; I didn’t hate it. That’s about the reach of it. I can’t wait for Maggi week to be over.

10pm: there were no issues so far; which is strange for me because most of our previous reviews have started exhibiting regret-like symptoms for me around the 6/7 mark. I’m cautiously optimistic; to be honest I’d be surprised if anything happened since these are probably the least spicy foods I have eaten (foods that have been marketed as “spicy” of course). I’m gonna watch that new Netflix show 3% that my email has been telling me all about. Let’s see how we go. If nothing else happens I’ll just come back and give this 0 flames.

Update: 0 flames.

Well; no regret I guess. Still not gonna eat ’em again as long as Indomie are in business.

Overall Porcelain Punishment Level


Community PP Level


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