Tseng Rice Noodle Spicy Flavor

Country of Origin: Taiwan

‘Spicy’ is now a flavour.


I didn’t know ‘spicy’ was a flavour; looks like I learn something new every day. Seriously, reading the packaging (the English part on the back at least) next to ‘flavour’ it literally just says ‘Spicy’. How mysterious.

Look! SPICY flavour!

So we have a thing with Taiwanese noodles; they either taste bland or they taste like soy sauce. That being said, the noodles are usually top quality and these guys don’t slouch on the packaging that’s for sure! Let’s see how they go.

Top notch packaging as usual from these guys

So these can be had either dry or with a broth; we are big fans of dry form noods so we are diving in that way. Maybe we can revisit these another time as a broth variety and see how they taste!

Sorry for the bad photo

Wait wait…before we get to taste actually I’ve gotta point out my beef with the Taiwanese; this is another noodle that comes with some kind of oily packet containing solidified chunks. Guys, this doesn’t mix well. I was left with many clumps of seasoning throughout this dish as were the other guys. Maybe we should have made these as a broth after all.

You cant see all the clumps; they sank to the bottom

So, how do they taste now?

Have you ever gone to the beach and accidentally swallowed a mouthful of water?

It’s like that. Only more Asian.

Honestly, the flavour was actually good (the Taiwanese seem to have a knack for making soy-sauce flavoured noodles that all seem oh-so-subtly different to eachother) but just way too salty. It’s hard to recommend these in their current state.

Also, for a nood that says its sole flavour is ‘spicy’ it barely registered a tingle of heat.

Heat Level

Taste Level

The Aftermath

So these did alright; nothing odd last night and no movements at all. I did have a few stinky farts in the car on the way to work but that’s about it. All in all a pretty safe treat; I wouldn’t say I would recommend them but if this is all you have left and you have plans for the evening it seems these would give you minimal suffering.

1 flame!

The flavour of salt runs rampant in this. Saltier than your ex girlfriend. Saltier than your boyfriends testicles after gym. I am not a huge fan of this type of noodle (vermicelli); It’s either the biggest fork of noodles in the world or barely any. No in-between.

It’s like a big old hair ball of salty mess. The flavour? what flavour? It’s just salt. I’m not sure if it’s spicy or just that the salt had dried my tongue to the point of stinging; I do not enjoy these noods.

They may be acceptable in broth form? Perhaps it would be less salty with more water. Who knows. I sure as heck don’t want to find out. I am done with this brand.

Holy Moly, Many poos shot out after this one. No real regret, no sting, just the break the plug out followed by a concerning stream. It made wiping easier and I feel it got me in and out a lot quicker than usual.

4 Flames for turning my butt into a tap.

Tsend n00ds.

These were..an experience. I had high hopes for this. Despite the angel hair noodle (not my favourite), there was a big ol’ packet of flavour and the now ubiquitous sachet of soya sauce.

Getting the sauce out was easy, the flavour paste? Not so much. Even after heating under hot water for a time, the paste insisted on chunking up and refusing to mix well, creating areas of incredibly dense flavour interspersed with deserts of nothing. It could almost be a broth dish, we were a little confused but yep, definitely (okay like 74% confident) a stir-fry style. This concentration of paste was incredibly salty, so much so that my mouth was numbed from the amount of sodium forcing its way into my body. This overload of salt may have had the effect of dehydrating my bowels, because not a toot was to be heard that night of the following morning.

1 flame, because that much salt just ain’t right.

Overall Porcelain Punishment Level

Community PPĀ Level


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