JML (JinMaiLang) Emperor Spicy Pork Bowl Noodle


Country of Origin: China

JML; you did well!

Consumption

So we have another guest reviewer today because our good friend Steve decided to go diving today instead of coming to work; Good Game Steve. Mat has been sitting near us for about a month now and has seen us consume many a nood; today is his turn to contribute.

So Josh picked these up at Spudshed; it’s just what it sounds like. They sure look great from the packaging so let’s go take a look at these babies.

It has a fork!

They come with three sachets; roughage galore! We have seasoning and vegetables, what looks like some flavoured oil, and a sachet of sambal (crushed up chillies). What a treat. This smells delicious, and looks fantastic. I’m in love with these noods.

Thin gauge noodles were a good choice for a bowl noodle; lends well to steeping and they have a perfect texture and bite to them. The flavour is held relatively well by them. I can definitely feel heat with this, and a pleasant not-too-salty flavour; I really like these.

This looks fantastic

When it gets down to the soup, you get such a fantastic pork flavour that went down an absolute treat. Top marks for this. Fantastic! Good pick Josh!

Heat Level

Taste Level
tastelevel-delicious

The Aftermath

Oddly enough I got nothing from these; and I was expecting SOME kind of movement! Come to think of it I don’t think I have poo’d at all yet since consuming these. No stomach issues, no gargles, nothing. Safe for me!

0 flames; I didn’t regret this at all.


I was excited for these noods, spicy pork flavour? I like both of the things in the name. Opening up the bowl was a pleasant surprise, 3 sachets of bits? NICE! Nood block was a little underwhelming; I found them to be a little thin for my taste. There were lots of them a lot of them, but thin noods I don’t find to hold flavour.

Adding first sachet (powder); nice aroma. Second sachet (oils); stronger, deeper aroma. Opening the third packaging, chilli, just crushed chilli! a very nice touch.

The flavours were excellent – a nice mouth sting – but was short lived. It could have stood to have more staying power but it was enough to ring true to it’s spicy claim. The pork flavour resided mostly within the broth; it was hearty, spicy and delicious. Without knowing what the regret will be at this stage, I would highly recommend these if you stumble across them.

The poops were not solid, many liquids shot out. There was no sting or burn but boy oh boy was it like I was peeing out of my butt. It made it quicker and made wiping less of a chore, so it was almost welcome. No gurgles before hand, no discomfort, I thought it was to be the standard movement, it was not.

4 flames, if anyone is outside of the toilet while your dealing with this, they are going to have some questions.


This ramen has a delicious, fresh, authentic, and rich flavour. When first eating the noodles I find that it tastes like all my favourite asian spices with a perfect amount of sambal! The spice level was 3.5 out of 5 – you can still taste and enjoy the flavours – and the noodles were soft and moist (not too soft and not too hard).

Towards the end of the meal the spice level increased and caused a few coughs; however, they were well worth the taste reward. As I eat hot sauce with every meal, I doubt that there will be any meaningful regret from this, let’s see…

There was a medium level of regret about 4 hours later in the form of stomach cramps. That being said, there was no rushing to the bathroom required.

6 flames?


Overall Porcelain Punishment Level


Community PPĀ Level

Tried these noodles? Rate YOUR regret!

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