Maggi Fusian Laksa


Country of Origin: Australia

Laksa? More like Lackluster

Consumption

I was excited for this, Maggi being such a reputable instant noodle company and one from my youth, I was excited to try their premium line. I’m not sure if I did it wrong, if maybe my taste buds were broken or what, but I came out from this experience: disappointed. The noodles themselves were good, firm and what I would prefer in a noodle but the flavour was just… lacking.

maggifusianlaksabag
Look at that bag; that’s one fancy-ass bag

It has the coconut-y taste I would expect, it tasted somewhat like a Laksa but it just lacked substance, perhaps this would be a prime candidate for ramen labs where we could fix it by adding more ingredients, but on it’s own It was just bitterly disappointing. I hoped Maggi week would be a flavourful week of nostalgia for the Maggi brand but instead I now remember all the memories I had been trying to repress from my scouts trips.

fusianlaksablock
The block actually looks promising

Heat on consumption for me was…’kind of’. That’s kind of it; it was there but much like the flavour there wasn’t a lot to care about. I would strongly suggest to most if you see these in the market, keep walking. Just like Meek Mills diss tracks to Drake, Highly anticipated but very highly underwhelming. This gets a rock solid MEH in flavour.

fusianlaksabowl
Creamy with floaters…chilli floaters…

 

Heat Level
heatlevel-medium
Taste Level
tastelevel-meh

The Aftermath

What the hell Maggi!? how did you create such chaos from something that wasn’t all that hot. After a detour on my drive home I sat in my car in gridlock traffic clenching my butt. The rumbles were loud enough to hear over A$ap Ferg on my way home. Perhaps it was the bass that triggered the rumbles but when I pulled into my drive way there was no stalling, it was straight into the bathroom. What happened next baffled me, after being so desperate to get the Maggi demon out of my body, with my butt parked on the lav, NOTHING. The rumbles stopped; it was like it was all imagined. I got up after 10 minutes of waiting had some dinner, and lo and behold the undeniable urge to run to the bathroom struck again, this time, it was free flowing, like the amazon, it was just a murky brown stream. The aftermath was hell.

8 for me, the back lash was pretty bad, it was made worse by the dissatisfaction with the meal itself.


Ahh Maggi – this was how you knew you were poor. They seem to be attempting to crack the ‘premium’ market with these noodles but based on this dish it’s a poor attempt at asian-fusion at best, and a gibbering confused franken-noodle at worst.

While the noodles themselves are aesthetically pleasing, they’re just a bit…meh. The soaking took a while before they were edible, but even afterwards they didn’t seem to hold any flavour. Perhaps a run at the saucepan cook would provide better results, as the dehydrated coconut cream didn’t seem to dissolve properly with the water.

Broth-wise the taste is similarly meh, while it packs some heat, there is little flavour to accompany it, and with the lack of dried vegetables there really is nothing to elevate this broth above ‘meh’ for me.

The aftermath for me was as subdued as my enthusiasm for the dish. The Laksa was sent to a watery grave with little fanfare, squirty consistency but a moderate amount of urgency that night, probably a function of the coconut ingredient. All in all there was nothing to see here, officers.

Going with a 6 for this – you’ll definitely notice some urgency, so don’t make plans that night.


My bar was set pretty low for Maggi but I came in with an open mind; I was actually a little excited when I saw that glorious ramen block. Nice, thick noodles. I gave them a bit of a nuke instead of the standard soak in boiling water. The coconut sachet that came with it was semi-fragrant…I mean, the smell was there I guess. No vegetable sachet though; bit of a let down.

Taste wise it was very muted; I couldn’t really get much coconut. Props for one thing though; it does have heat. Definite stingy mouthfeel throughout the meal and accompanying head sweat. The noodles didn’t cook well; they were still very firm after a 30 second nuke. Maybe these do really need a saucepan (to be fair, the packet did say so, but so do Paldo‘s and Nongshim‘s and for the most part they cook perfectly well without).

This, tastewise, isn’t even post-2007 Wayne. This is all of SremmLife 2 (except for Black Beatles); skippable.

Aftermath wise; It’s currently 8pm and I’ve had that “oh no, you are gonna have waterfalls coming our your rear” feeling in my stomach for the past 2 hours. I spent 20 minutes on the bowl and I almost gave myself a hernia trying to get something out. This is a weird and confusing feeling. I don’t like it. Good news is by 10.30pm the feeling subsided and I was home free for the evening. 10:00am the next morning there was a quick, stingy, release but I think that got the last of it out.

Giving this a 6 because you cannot make evening plans around this kind of situation but at least it doesn’t last all night. Comes with an easy – albeit stingy – release the next morning.


Overall Porcelain Punishment Level

7flames

Community PP Level

Tried these noodles? Rate YOUR regret!

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